If you’re not fed up with the circus yet, you soon will be. Every clowning performer, every newsreader, commentator and gushing crowd member, will be salt rubbed into your severely wounded mood. Gossiping and gawping at two rich strangers is irritating for half an hour, annoying for an evening and soul destroying after days and weeks. Wedding talk is a stressful and pointless nuisance. At the end of this week the womenfolk will be in an unstoppably riotous mood. It will be terrifying.
Your masculinity will be torturously chipped away. The usual refuge, the pub, will be hideously transformed into a paradise of bunting and delicate decoration. When the confetti and the cupcakes and the tiaras get too much, new escape routes will be needed. After the horrors of the day itself, you’ll need to rediscover your true self and chill out as a bloke again.
For the alternatives to the madness, the cures to wedding fever and feral femininity, keep it glued to Flickering Myth. We’ll remind you that there’s good honest entertainment worth living for after a monstrous marriage marathon.
Your first anti-wedding tip then is Kenneth Branagh’s (that’s right the thespian and national treasure, directing a comic book adaptation) eagerly anticipated Marvel epic Thor, in three dimensions courtesy of the now standard issue Elton John specs. After all what could be more manly than a hero with impossibly mahoosive muscles and a badass cape, whose principal superpower is a giant hammer for bashing stuff to bits? He’s a God-like handyman irresistible to women and the envy of lesser men.
I promised myself I wouldn’t resort to atrocious puns to describe the merits and failures of Branagh’s creation, as other reviews have done. But then I thorght, by Odin’s beard there’s no harm in saying that whilst this isn’t quite a thor star film, its plot hammers along with such thunderous gusto that it at least cracks the norse code of decent superhero movies for the most part. The critics are right to muck about with words and have fun with their reviews though; because Thor, whatever its faults, is a fun watch.
Despite the drawbacks of spending much of the running time in the CGI kingdom of Asgard, I found such a different setting mostly refreshing. Gleaming golden palaces, elaborate armour and impossible landscapes are ingredients unavailable to the likes of Batman and Iron Man, no matter how artificial the environment might sometimes seem. Undeniably at times the 3D CGI is visually dazzling and striking. There are even a number of good, thumping action scenes in the eternal realm. As some reviewers have pointed out, setting much of the film in Asgard ensures the audience becomes attached to it, whether they appreciate its over the top beauty or not.
There’s no doubt that the fun factor only truly kicks in when things literally crash down to earth though. There are a good number of gags, nearly all of which are LOL worthy. Thor amusingly thrashes about at the humans he interacts with, struggling to accept he is at the mercy of the mortals. He only really bonds with one of us human plebs, the beautiful and gorgeous (I do not have a crush!) Natalie Portman. She plays a scientist on the verge of some vague but momentous discovery to do with particles and space or something. Thor sees she is clever. And that she’s a woman too. Portman is by no means mesmerising as she is in Black Swan here, but she does the job asked of her by the story, as do Anthony Hopkins and even Chris Hemsworth as Thor, who looked so wooden in the trailer. No I don’t just think she did a good job because she’s hot.
You might like to know the basic thrust of Thor’s plot: Thor heir to throne, Thor seeks revenge on Frost Giants, Thor banished for breaking peace, Thor seeks to find lost hammer, Thor inadvertently falls for hot human scientist, Thor tries to return to save kingdom. I like to think he may have grunted it out bluntly like that. And yes you read that rightly, the bad guys in this are called Frost Giants. They are perhaps Thor’s weakest ingredient; childishly simple foes that are difficult to take seriously. But again they are at least different to standard superhero fare.
The best bits, besides the laughs, following Thor’s fall to earth are two stunning action scenes. The first sees Thor roaring like King Kong as he bashes a bunch of S.H.I.E.L.D agents. He’s trying to get to his beloved magical hammer, which is sealed off by awesome looking white tubes by the guys in suits that will link all Marvel’s superheroes together for the forthcoming Avengers film. The second climatic action scene sees Thor and his warrior friends fleeing from a fire breathing robot despatched by the traitor in Asgard’s camp to kill Thor.
This scene gets the best out of a small and dusty New Mexico town location; by smashing it to pieces with fantastic fiery explosions. The really impressive and surprising thing, especially given all the talk about Thor’s visual style, is the sound the killer robot makes every time it unleashes a fireball; it’s so piercing and deafening that you feel the impact of each blast. My friend violently flinched in surprise at one moment when the thing shaped up to slap something. Then in the aftermath of the destruction the soundtrack and the visuals reach suitably epic proportions for Thor’s big race against time comeback moment.
Thor is of course the God of Thunder, which is fitting given that most superheroes grapple with the stormy consequences of their own God complexes. Needless to say Thor predictably learns his lesson, to put others before yourself is truly heroic blah blah, but in engrossingly epic style. There is just something fun about this film, which makes you reluctant to dwell on its various faults and flaws. Thor ended leaving me wanting more from the character and more from his world, despite the silliness of some of the mythological squabbles. Branagh has not crafted the meaningful art he is accustomed to, but a fun and refreshing thorker of a blockbuster. He may be a prince, but Thor will easily sail your mind away from all things Royal.
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An unassuming secret identity, a loveable sidekick and an addiction to good deeds. An endearing genetic defect with unwanted superpower side-effects, a camp costume, an immaculate hairdo. An array of selfless, saintly qualities: modesty, chastity, responsibility and respect. An ultimate, unquestionably evil nemesis and an unwavering sense of right and wrong. The capacity to shun greed and riches for the benefit of the many, for the ordinary citizen. These are the ingredients of your average superhero, and these are the elements that the first Iron Man film, rebooting the Marvel character, chose to either throw out the window or turn completely upside down.
As a result Iron Man was one of the surprise smash successes of 2008. Its refreshing approach to a familiar genre that had become tired, bland and predictable, really said something to a range of cinemagoers. Whether you were an easily pleased ten year old after an iconic super suit and tonnes of action or an adult after some different thrills and spills with good gags and an attractive cast thrown in, Iron Man had it. Iron Man 2 will no doubt be the DVD of choice on the Christmas lists of many and attempts to continue along similar lines to the first film.
But does it succeed? One of the major things Iron Man had going for it was the fact it didn’t take itself too seriously; it knew it was all silly fun in the end. Of course this is largely down to the character of Tony Stark, excellently played once more by Robert Downey Jr. He slips effortlessly back into the role that catapulted him to the top of the mainstream and made the acting world his oyster. It’s a bold move to see Stark exposed as the Iron Man and living with that pressure. The script does have its flaws but must be credited for supplying Stark with some killer lines, although such is his charm and exuberance even ordinary pieces of dialogue can take on an irresistibly humorous air. Some of the gags are far from sophisticated but still elicit the laughs, such as the hordes of wild robots at the end dubbed the “HAMMER-ROIDS”. It is just as well that Iron Man 2 doesn’t try too hard to be taken seriously, like its predecessor, because at times the abundance of new characters and outlandish plotlines becomes baffling and bewildering.
For the most part the new additions are harmless fresh pieces in the puzzle of fun. Scarlett Johansson’s wooden performance as a mysterious, multi-talented employee of Stark’s organisation is two-dimensional yes, but again you get the feeling she wasn’t going for anything more than generic femme fatale. She is also involved in an exciting and hilarious acrobatic fight scene, with the bulk of the laughs coming from director Jon Favreau’s performance as Stark’s boxing mad driver. Generally she is welcome eye candy of course, and this is played for laughs, again with director Favreau going goggle eyed as she changes in his car. Samuel L. Jackson also plays a typical role, complete with eye patch, which hints at Marvel’s planned synthesis of its heroes for an invincible superhero blockbuster.
Perhaps the biggest danger to Iron Man 2’s appeal is its multitude of competing and fuzzy plotlines. One in particular concerning Stark’s father’s legacy was especially confusing for me, given the events of the first film which seemed to suggest Stark created the technology for the Iron Man suit himself during captivity. However I have to say that generally the film was so enjoyable I didn’t let the various narrative strands, some more ludicrous than others, spoil the experience. In fact by the end the majority of them have reached conclusions that make a kind of sense, whilst leaving the path clear for the inevitable lucrative sequel. Mickey Rourke’s largely mute Russian villain Ivan Vanko certainly doesn’t compare to his critically acclaimed turn in The Wrestler or perhaps the more interesting back stabbing opponent of the first movie, but on frightening and imposing appearances alone he makes a passable foe. And his sparking electrical whips make for some unique action sequences at Monaco’s Grand Prix, despite some glaringly obvious computer generated cars, and again at the end for the climatic showdown.
On the whole Iron Man 2 is an entertaining watch that walks the fine line between maintaining the necessary continuity for a franchise, with characters like Gwyneth Paltrow’s Pepper Potts exchanging prickly dialogue with Stark, and injecting new blood to make each adventure different and fresh. And fresh is what Iron Man remains; a modern and incredibly funny take on the superhero.
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