You can rely on Disney’s well known Pirate franchise for one of the universal laws of cinema. As sure as night follows day and the tide washes in and out, each successive film in the Pirates of the Caribbean series will be worse than the last. Like a basket of juicy fruit left to rot on a sunny beach, the individual ingredients that made the first film so fun gradually lose their enjoyment. You can also bet your house that in increasingly more desperate attempts to recapture the magic of the Black Pearl’s virgin voyage, the plots will acquire more baffling layers with each new instalment. And this film’s ending proves once again that there will always be room for yet another adventure.
However this film does break some new ground. For example for the first time ever, the title is as confusing and vague as the many competing strands of the story. The tides are certainly no more or less important than before and there is nothing strange about the film; within Captain Jack’s world at least mermaids and myths are pretty standard fare.
Things get off to a familiar but promising start. Our beloved scallywag Jack Sparrow is in London to rescue sidekick Mr Gibbs from a trial, which would be swiftly followed by a hanging if the bloodthirsty crowd had their way. After some costumed shenanigans and typically camp stalking about, Jack and Gibbs find themselves at the King’s palace. The crown wish to find the fountain of youth before the crafty Catholics in Spain and they’ve heard Sparrow knows the way.
Jack gets an audience with the King in a sumptuous room and Depp gets ample opportunity to showcase the physical comedy and wordplay audiences have come to love. The King is played by Richard Griffiths in a delightful cameo. Needless to say Jack manages an escape. Later in the film Geoffrey Rush’s Barbossa takes the time to mentally plan an escape route, presuming that’s what Depp’s madcap Sparrow does, only for Jack to reply that he sometimes “improvises”. The running and jumping through an impressive CGI London in the film’s opening segment, is ad hoc Jack Sparrow action at its best.
Sadly the film simply cannot maintain the entertainment levels as chase follows chase and sword fight follows sword fight. Most of the action is surprisingly inventive, especially since we’ve had three films already but at times even Jack’s luck over judgment leaps of faith enter ridiculous territory. The stunts become monotonous by the end because of the film’s relentless opening barrage, tarnishing the drama of the finale. There are no explosive cannon battles for those who love their ships and nautical duels. Instead of boarding we get an awful lot of trekking through the jungle.
Having said this, two standout scenes are exciting and engaging. I’ve already mentioned Captain Jack prancing his way around London but the first mermaid attack scene is also terrific. Only the Pirates franchise could deliver such a scene. It’s got frights and bites, fangs and bangs. The mermaids are less interesting by the end, but here they are introduced in a lengthy scene as seductive and dangerous. The attack comes as a real shock and well managed change in pace after they are lured in to enchant some pirates left as bait.
The mermaid battle is an epic, long scene and the film is so long that it loses much of its epic feel. Sub plots like a half formed romance between a mermaid and clergy man could have been slimmed considerably or dropped altogether .The runtime is literally bladder bursting, as a friend of mine dashed from the room as soon as the credits rolled. I was content to sit and watch the names of the cast fly at me in 3D however, because of Hans Zimmer’s magnificent music, which remains the best thing about the Pirates of the Caribbean. There are some nice variations and new additions to the main theme in this instalment but I can’t help feeling it’s time he focused his talents on new projects, rather than continually recycling one stunning track.
Hang on though; surely this is still worth seeing just for another outing from Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow? Isn’t he the single most important pillar upon which the blockbusters are based? I always assumed, like many critics, that the romantic pairing of Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley in the previous films was holding back Depp’s brilliance. But having seen On Stranger Tides, in which Depp must mostly steer proceedings alone, his performance is somehow less effective without them.
He is at his best in this film when dancing around other characters, making light of them. Penelope Cruz is suitably sassy and sexy as a pirate, albeit with an unrealistically attractive cleavage for a hardened sailor, and she and Depp have some fun exchanges, but putting Sparrow at the heart of a love story doesn’t work. Even the filmmakers realise this by backing out of it somewhat at the end. Captain Jack Sparrow is not the emotional type. And what made him so attractive to audiences, was the way he mocked the clichéd relationship between Bloom and Knightley. Making him part of the conventional storyline robs his performance of some of its power.
Depp is still fantastic fun at points though, rising above an overcomplicated script with a bizarre fascination for throwing in random and rubbish rhymes. This film may just go through the motions and it may be far too long, but it’s undeniably grand and fairly pleasing despite the odd yawn.
Rather than fork out for its occasional 3D gimmicks of a sword jutting out of the screen though, I would recommend ditching the high seas for inner city London and Joe Cornish’s critically acclaimed directorial debut, Attack the Block. I saw this just hours before Pirates 4 and without adding anything new to the chorus of praise around it, I will just say go and see it. It is funnier and more thrilling than Rob Marshall’s blockbuster and doesn’t deserve to sink.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged 2010, 3D, 4, acting, action, actor, Aliens, America, Anne's, At World's End, Attack the Block, Australia, aye, bangs, Barbossa, beauty, bites, Black Pearl, Blackbeard, bladder, Blade, blog, Bloom, blud, Bray, Britain, British, bursting, camp, captain, Caribbean, cart, Catherine, Catholic, CGI, chemistry, Chicago, choreography, cinema, cleavage, clergy, Comedy, Cornish, costume, Cruz, culture, Curse of the Black Pearl, Daniel Day Lewis, daughter, David, day, Dead Man's Chest, Deadwood, debut, Depp, director, dull, eccentric, England, English, entertaining, epic, fangs, feds, FIFA, fight, film, films, Flickering, follows, fountain, franchise, frights, funny, Geoffrey, Gibbs, gimmick, girl, glasses, grand, Griffiths, Guardian, Hector, high sea, hilarious, history, horses, Ian, impostor, Incredible, Independent, inevitable, inner city, instalment, island, Jack, Joe, Johnny, jolly, jungle, justice, Keira, Keith, King, Knightley, Labour, length, Liam, London, love, man, Marshall, McShane, mermaid, movie, movies, musicals, myth, narrative, nautical, new, newcomers, next, night, Nine, novel, of, old flame, On Stranger Tides, Orlando, overcomplicated, Penelope, performance, Pirates, pleasant, plot, pregnant, Protestant, Queen, quest, race, random, revenge, Review, rhymes, Richard, Richards, ridiculous, rings, Rob, Roger, Rolling, romance, Rotten, routine, rubbish, runtime, Rush, sail, sailor, sassy, scallywag, scary, scene, script, sex, sexy, shenanigans, ship, silly, slang, soldiers, Spanish, Sparrow, Stones, story, style, sub plot, suit, suitably, swords, Tear, Technorati, Telegraph, The, The King's Speech, thoughts, tide, Tomatoes, too long, Trim, tv, UK, Ultra, Verdict, water, woman, writer, writing, youth
The endless revelations regarding the private life of a certain Chelsea defender have dominated the front and back pages of both the tabloids and supposedly respected news publications in recent weeks. However most of us are simply concerned that such trivial drama about the sordid and inevitable escapades of the Premiership footballer will harm England’s chances at another World Cup. In 2010 even I, a sceptic when it comes to England’s chances of actually achieving when it counts, have been persuaded by factors such as a favourable climate despite the far flung locale of South Africa, Capello’s simple organisation, Rooney’s growing brilliance, a gentle qualification campaign and an easy group on paper, that we may actually get somewhere. For sports writers and celeb gossip columnists alike then John Terry’s foolish, failed attempts to suppress details of his adultery are nothing less than a wet dream with ongoing opportunities to prophesise doom in place of success and ask how Capello shall choose to react to such a colossal crisis.
I’ve heard several people comment jokingly that Capello is presumably bemused by the fuss surrounding Terry’s macho behaviour, given his Italian nationality. Before he gave way to media pressure and gave Terry the boot as skipper, these jokers suggested Capello would simply rise above the tidal wave of publicity and leave the only leader in the team in place, armband secure. Critics pointed to the example a national captain must set not only for young fans but for the rest of the team. Capello couldn’t simply ignore the allegations with their mounting evidence and thus condone Terry’s actions.
I would argue that ideally this is what would have happened. Had there been no spotlight of media scrutiny, had Terry not aggravated matters by trying to silence the papers and effectively screaming his deception from the rooftops, the purely football decision would’ve been to leave Terry as captain, despite his behaviour. Let’s not kid ourselves; every member of the national side probably has an equally scandalous skeleton in their closet. Sadly though not every member of the England squad is blessed with the natural characteristics of leadership that John Terry has, in fact none of them are. That fact is made evident by Capello’s choice to succeed the disgraced Terry.
Rio Ferdinand! The news that a crock, himself with a tarnished track record following a missed drugs test, was to replace his centre-back partner as captain, made me scoff at Capello’s supposed genius. After ten minutes brooding over the alternatives though I changed my mind. Who else is there other than Ferdinand? Ordinarily the equally safe but wiser option would be too appoint the first choice goalkeeper to act as an experienced, calm, urging presence from the back. However England has no obvious choice between the sticks. Robert Green and Ben Foster are questionable as squad members and David James would be a step backward.
Strong voices have called for Rooney to be made skipper, a move that would complete his maturing process from raging bull to clinical cheetah in front of goal. However Capello no doubt agreed with the chorus denouncing that option as the death of England’s chances. Rooney still isn’t primarily a goal-scorer and he needs to retain a degree of savagery to be England’s world class talisman. Making him captain would have burdened Rooney with one responsibility too many and would have seen a return to sights like Rooney valiantly tracking back only to give away a penalty to Russia in the left-back position, costing England their best player and the match. Steven Gerrard then? He too is far from free from scandal and is another player Capello will be praying can recapture his best this summer, another match winner who could do without the extra weight on his shoulders.
And so whilst Ferdinand is clearly not the perfect choice as captain Capello has logically chosen him to maximise England’s chances and minimise the impact of the whole incident on the team’s preparations. Up till now Capello has got things right and the team had been in buoyant mood. Whilst Ferdinand may not be a guaranteed starter due to his own fitness problems, ideally Ferdinand will partner Terry come the summer. He is also a proven winner with Manchester United. Capello will no doubt hope that little will change with Ferdinand wearing the armband and his big players, including John Terry, will feel liberated to produce their best football. I understand those looking at Capello’s handling of this whole affair and likening it to the safe, failure inducing calls made by past England managers. However if those critics take a moment to think they might realise that Capello is rising above the media bubble, (whilst not ignoring it) and is pursuing the same pragmatic, hard-line tactics that so far have only brought him praise and England consistent success.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged 2010, Capello, captain, England, Ferdinand, football, Gerrard, Rio, Rooney, South Africa, Terry, World Cup